The Polyamory Breakup Book

A practical guide to breakups in polyamorous relationships.

Click for: Press Release

Kathy Labriola, Author

Click for: Endorsements, reviews of the book, and blurbs

Click Here for Chapter Teasers

Read review by Elisabeth "Eli" Sheff, PhD, CSE

Click for: Review of The Polyamory Breakup Book

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Podcast: Normalizing Nonmonogamy, hosted by Emma and Fin interview with Kathy Labriola about the Polyamory Breakup Book

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Review by Tikva Wolf, writer and cartoonist who has a polyamory-themed comic strip called Kimchi Cuddles!

So I read the pre-release copy of this book while going through a difficult relationship transition myself, and was surprised by how fun it was to read despite my own sadness on the topic.

Like monogamous partnerships, non-monogamous relationships sometimes CRASH AND BURN (or gently transition into something else, whatev). This helpful book overviews some common reasons poly-breakups happen, and how to make that transition more gently with non-traditional complications (such as being connected to metamours, other partners, and the wider polyamorous community). It also details many common pitfalls and prevention strategies for each, while acknowledging that relationship "success" is not defined by whether the dynamic remains exactly the same FOR ALL ETERNITY.

The book also covers topics like addiction, abuse, mental health issues, and how polyamorous dynamics can make all these more complex. As someone who has struggled with ALL these issues myself, I really appreciated the way they were acknowledged. The book also covers sex addiction, and how that is different than polyamory itself but can be very destructive within any relationship dynamic when left unexamined (THANK YOU for including this!). The book kinda focuses on hierarchical dynamics and sexual partnerships (which is fine, because that's what's relevant to most people and I don't need everything to be exactly relevant to me ALL the time) but I do wish that they'd talked more about the nuance of partnership, and specifically about platonic partnerships. But since I feel strongly about THAT story being told, I guess that just means it's a job for me. :P The sections as they were written were still easy to apply to my own relationships, and organized in a very helpful way.

Overall, totally recommend this helpful resource for your personal or community library! Find a copy here:

See comments on her instagram page and visit her facebook page.

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The Polyamory Breakup Book breaks through the taboo of talking about open relationship endings. It normalizes relationship break ups of all kinds, and offers practical tools for preparing for and understanding breakups when they happen. Kathy Labriola uses her deep expertise to provide guidance and understanding around breakups in polyamorous relationships. She provides the reader with acceptance and practical ideas as they navigate their loss both with themselves, and with their communities.

Dr. Rachel Robbins, Psy.D., Licensed Psychologist, San Francisco, CA

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Multiamory Podcast, August 2019

Polyamory Breakup Book interview with Kathy Labriola

Click here: Multiamory Podcast

Want to know more about the Poly Breakup Book? Check out these brief descriptions with more information on each chapter of the book, along with Lacey Johnson’s great cartoons for each chapter! Click on each Chapter.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16

Illustrated by Lacey Johnson, an artist and illustrator who is interested in how everyday life intersects with the space between fairy tales, myth, inner wisdom, and cultural transformation. Her work is part Manifesto, part pedagogy, part thrift store self-help book. She has learned a lot from all kinds of break ups and now she crafts them with finesse.

Lacy Johnson, Illustrator

More of Lacey's illustrations HERE